The Nothing

In my spiritual eye, I could see the emending storm. It was coming like The Nothing from The Neverending Story. My spirit is peaceful as I knew we would survive it. I didn't know how, but I knew we would. We may be weather beaten coming out the other side, but we would definitely survive it. Our marriage would remain intact (issues with financial trust and control played a huge part in the break down of my first marriage and was the leading cause of Big Man's parent's marriage splitting up after sixteen years) and our children would be fed and clothed. All our needs would be met one way or another. We just simply had to endure. Or do we?

At what point in our faith do we just assume that our circumstances are meant to teach us a lesson? Job's circumstance wasn't meant to teach him anything. The Enemy was ALLOWED (oh yeah. He had to ask permission!) to put Job through this trial because God knew his heart and had faith in Job that he wasn't faithful because of his circumstance nor would he lose his faith when he lost it all. I know so many people who read into Job and just get mad. How could God let Satan abuse this man so badly when he lived so virtuous a life? But I see a faith so deep and a trust so great that even the powers of Hell won't move it. I'm not talking about Job's faith in God. I'm talking about God's faith in Job. God knew his heart and saw in him the depths of his convictions and knew he would not stray from him regardless of his circumstances. I want this. I want God to have this kind of faith in me.

Now I'm not saying that I want Satan and his legions to release The Cracken on my life! I'm not saying I want God to throw me to the hounds of Hell to prove my obedience. I'm not stupid by any means. I'm saying that this is the relationship I'd like to have with God. Mutual faith. Mutual trust. To be THAT kind of servant. Like Joseph in Potifer's House. Trusted with all he had.

Except, why do we think that, in order to have this type of relationship with God, we have to suffer the lengths of Job? Why did I feel we had to ENDURE this storm? Didn't the man I call my king calm the storm on the sea? Doesn't He control the weather? Insurance companies don't call it "An Act of God" for just any reason. They are all subject to his will. Aren't we all?

In talking to NiNi, I was describing what I was seeing lately. The only way to draw a proper picture was to describe it as The Nothing. Yet, The Nothing ripped up everything in it's path and left just that in it's wake....Nothing. Just gray matter where there use to be living things. If The Nothing was coming for us then why did I think we would survive it at all? Isn't that the intent of The Enemy? To kill, steal, and destroy? Yet isn't that the intent of faith, as well? A blind belief. A belief that against all odds there is hope and He will work to our good the things intended to harm us (Gen 50:20 ). Then NiNi asked me an interesting question. Had we prayed for God to STOP the storm?

???

Well......no, actually. We hadn't prayed to stop the storm. We'd just been praying for the strength to endure it. To get through it. To survive it. WHY??? Why doesn't it occur to us as Christians to ever ask God to just make it stop? Why do we assume that each thing is either A) straight from the devil when it may in fact be from God to teach us something that will prosper us in the future or B) a Job-esque circumstance that we must endure to get our blessing? Why don't we consider option C) that all God is waiting for is for us to come and ask our Daddy for his help.

So I did. I hit the floor. OK, actually, I made a bit of a spectacle out of myself trying to get 8-months pregnant on her knees by the side of the bed. Here's what I saw almost as soon as I opened my mouth.

The storm just started to dissipate. The clouds rolled back and started breaking up. Sunlight filtered through in lemonade rays. And I knew that this was about the posture of my heart.