Alternative Lifestyle

Tonight I'm nestled all snug in my bed at the kick off of the Christmas Season with a sad and heavy heart.

Tonight, Brandon and I took the babies downtown Indianapolis to see the lighting of the world's tallest "Christmas Tree". I put it in quotes because what it really is is a monument at the heart of the Circle City that the electricians union suspends multi-colored lights in the shape of a cylindrical cone resulting in a pseudo-Christmas Tree.

Anyway, around here it's a big deal and usually quite fun. I take the kids every other year when it's my turn for Thanksgiving. I've even gone a couple of times without them. Every lighting a wonderful experience that makes me all glowy with the warmth and excitement of the coming festivities.

Brandon hates large crowds, so after laying it on thicker and heavier as I went, he finally consented to coming along. It was disaster. It was gridlock and madness. In all the years we've gone I haven't seen crowd this size. It was unseasonably warm so maybe that's why the numbers were at peak. All I know is that I saw that ugliness of humanity tonight. There was almost a fist fight. Two very intoxicated women with three children pushing their way through the crowd. A man in a colts jacket threatening physical violence in order to move into an area that was barricaded off. I myself had a confrontation with a man who was at least a foot taller than myself because he proceeded to get in Emma's face when she said excuse me as she was trying to not let go of Lily's hand and be separated from the rest of her family. "Sir, she's 14. She's just trying to not be separated," was met with vehement hostility. I was asked him to not be hateful to a child...I even said and I quote "It's Christmas!"

This was the pinnacle of a day marked with news of 5 smashed car windows at a local mall to steal presents. A woman who pepper sprayed several others in order to get the wal-mart deals she wanted. And stores who open at 9pm instead of letting employees be with their families.

The kindest person we came across tonight was a homeless man who sitting with his little black dog was wishing people Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas as they passed by. A man with little to nothing was generous with his kindness. I have wept openly with a heaviness in my spirit tonight.

Lord, Oh Lord, my heart cries out for the blackness in the hearts of your people. Lord, oh Lord let me not be one of those masses. Open the eyes of my heart that I can see where I am like these. Correct my steps and the words of my mouth so that the sweetness of Your Spirit pours from me. Let my life be an example of how we can be a different people. I want an alternative lifestyle.